RESURRECTION

i don't really see the point of holding back your 'crazy' just to make other people feel comfortable... I am not really sure what good it would do to dial back on your chosen form of expression just to seem normal and 'relatable'. We live in a world that preaches individuality and the importance of celebrating diveristy one one hand but expects conformity at the end of the day. for the most part, it has proven difficult to navigate where respect begins and rhetoric ends. Acceptance of others and their lifestyle choices isn't something that comes to us naturally, we are human afterall, created unequally but forced to live an existence where our differences separate rather than bring us closer.

since we know all this, i won't tell you some BS that the world is going to love you for who you are...
it won't happen. transfer that burden elsewhere. what's the point in waiting for the time things turn around to start living? waiting for that moment when everyone suddenly gives a fuck is like waiting for a dog to grow horns....evolution or not, it ain't gonna happen'....

Whatever you are waiting to happen, you could cut that waiting time by a whole lot if you rearrange the 'equation of expectation'. shift the focus. who are you waiting on to accept, love and validate you?what are you hoping will make you turn into 'somebody' who is worthy of respect, adoration and love. family, friends, lovers? or maybe what you want is what every woman wants , perhaps you waiting for the fashion world to suddenly turn around and accept every woman and every body and every colour....ain't gonna happen.

Reclaim that responsibility and find a way to make you be enough. work on the shit you can change and live your best life, the one you create, the one you have chosen, the one you wouldn't have to struggle to upkeep. easier said than done, but it can be done and really the only person who you can truly control and influence is yourself.... so instead of waiting for Vogue to tell you that you are beautiful, develop a positive relationship with your mirror and find a way to make what you have work for your reality. instead of waiting for the media to validate your reality, reflect your self. why can't you be someone you can look up to? why can't you be someone who is inspirational and not merely looking up to others?why complicate life any more by accepting every limitation the world has placed on you? why live in a perpetual dissatisfaction with your self and your station?

I don't think women give themselves enough credit or enough respect.
for fear of coming off as 'conceited' some women recoil at the thought of bringing attention to themselves. running away from your self won't make you catch up to the world. we spend entirely too much of our short time in this life trying to be 'somebody'... somebody that others will love, but what if it happens that no one loves you? shouldn't life still go on?

here is a tip or two:

Refuse to downplay your intelligence or your beauty or your confidence or anything that makes you walk with your head held up high. Take pride in your resilience and celebrate your strengths, you have more of them than you have taken time to notice. pat yourself in the back when you need to. cheer yourself on if you have to. you deserve to worry less about how others feel about you so you can focus on your own feelings about yourself. Self Actualize...Self conviction: believe in the you that that feels 'right' for you. You first, everyone else can get in where they fit.i think we get too wrapped up in what the world isn't delivering to us that we fail to take out time to validate ourselves.

The world will want to cage you into a box. The other truth is even worse: the more time passes older you get, that box will get infinitely smaller ... social norms and responsibilities will make it so you have to rearrange your entire self to fit into that box, no matter how tiny. choose which side of the box you want to be on...you can be in with the rest of them or stand alone with the few....

The idea of maturing goes beyond just getting older and being 'grown'. maturity is not something that comes after you get that corner office or get that coveted promotion. you could move up in the world and still be caged in a box. it is a mind thing. maturity isn't predetermined by your station in life and regardless of what anyone says life experiences doesn't bestow maturity,you can live , thrive and get old.... doesn't mean that you evolve into your potential self....

now what does all of this have to do with the outfit? Alot! i am well aware that most people are drawn to me for what i know to be the obvious reasons :you like the way i wear my hair or the way i wear my clothes or the way i look or the way i seem or maybe you don't....the reasons won't matter. i am not so worried that people won't get to know the 'real' me or like me for me...i know me and i like me so the burden is shifted. i am however worried that some people unfortunately won't get to know themselves when they still have time to relish in it. i am worried that some young women that see me will never allow themselves the freedom they so desperately seek choosing instead to live vicariously through others...

my message on this earth is simple....Know thyself.

I have said it before, i have said it today and i will say it till the day i die
Know who you are, who you want to be. Become it ,own it. Don't accept being told you are less than you believe yourself to be...this may all seem 'tired' but i think it is worth repeating so someone somewhere who may need to hear it, does....

it may all seem like just words, you don't know me so what right do i have to tell you how you should feel? i am not here to show you so you can emulate , i am not even here to lead by example, i am here because i feel i need to be. it is how i have chosen to express a bit of me and for me my validation really at the end of day is being able to say 'i did it my way' and i hope that you too can find your outlet too...whatever it may be....